And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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