i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
That's intense
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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