I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
