Whod you bang
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
