I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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