Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
