I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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