I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
