Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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