Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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