Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
