Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
