I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize