Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
