what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
