All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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