im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
