hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
