So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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