I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
