he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Be still, my beating vagina.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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