you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
