She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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