The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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