And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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