You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
