He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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