Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
