Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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