Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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