apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
