i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
