I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize