Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
