oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
