can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
