Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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