wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
