i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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