You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
