my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
worst night to have a conscience
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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