About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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