Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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