I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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