Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
