I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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