At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
