I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
