OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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