You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
