How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
