Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
