im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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