While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize