Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
