You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
