best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize