stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
worst night to have a conscience
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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