You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
