mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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