I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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