if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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