How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize