Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
